A Whistle-Stop Tour of Paris

My problem is that I get bored too easily. I'm always being told that I have ants in my pants.

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At the Taj Mahal, for example, my first question to our guide was: 'How long does this tour take?' The lovely Indian monument is at the top of most travellers' wish-lists, one of the places You Must See Before You Die - but I feared I might die before the tour finally dragged to a halt.

When it comes to museums and historic monuments, long and painful experience has taught me that more means less. If you want my totally honest opinion, there's no visiting experience in the world that should legitimately take much longer than 30 minutes. For this reason one of my golden rules of sightseeing is to do nothing that involves going on a boat.

Why? Because once you've climbed the gangplank you've abandoned hope and ceded all control of your destiny, putting yourself at the complete mercy of a nincompoop who thinks you might enjoy spending two hours looking at unusual coastal rock formations (yes, really!).

Believe me, after 30 minutes I wasn't looking at the rock formations - I was staring at my watch wondering for how much longer this nightmare could possibly continue.



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